Do you remember the basil plant I bought last summer? Refresh you memory with Anonymously Anomalous Number 4. Well, the update you never had in September was that my basil plant tried to commit suicide a few times by jumping off my window sill. I did not allow him a very healthy existence. In the end, I had him put down so he could escape the misery of being taken care of by me.
In May, less than one year after I adopted my Basil, I found myself responsible for 20 large plants in my workplace. I don't think my employer ran a background check on me.
Yesterday at work, I could not find two of the plants. There were only 18 in the entire building! Two were gone, completely disappeared. I hope they did not choose the same resolve that my basil plant once chose. I hope the best for those two- that they ran away and found a quite contrary lady. A better one than me.
I went to sleep in the sweltering heat and the fan blew hot air on me and I rolled over all night long so no single side of my body got too sweaty and I felt like I was cooking in an oven as a rotisserie chicken and when I got up half an hour before my alarm, I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
I woke my room mate twice as often as usual this morning while readying myself and I forsook breakfast for the sake of avoiding the death gaze she does so well for an individual in a semi-conscious state. That gaze is petrifying.
On the walk to work, I realized I was overdressed and felt spiteful at the person who told me that today would be ten degrees cooler than its actual temperature. Yuck! Sweat!
At work, I had to spend time in the basement pulling files. There was a dead mouse last time I had to go down there, but today, in my flip flops, I had a run-in with Mr. Cockroach. I also had a run-in with Pervy Janitor, who wondered aloud whether or not I felt safe in the basement by myself.
When I picked up my package from the post office after work, the man behind the counter scolded me for not putting my P.O. Box in my address. I don't like being scolded.
At bible study tonight, they had crunchy peanut butter instead of smooth peanut butter for our dinner PB&Js. Crunch peanut butter is so... amazing!
I had never even tried it before! I just figured that since my mom always bought smooth, it was the superior spread. Plus the jam was strawberry, for which I was very grateful because I know I don't like grape from actual experience, not assumption.
Also, the basement wasn't so bad. I got to sea and hear a brawny man dancing and singing "All I want to Do" by Sheryl Crow in a strange key in which I've never heard any song sung before!
Furthermore, my being overdressed for the outdoors paid off today because the A/C at work was a bit unbearable and I would have been shivering all day long were it not for the pants.
I really like my room mate and she is quite understanding of my need to be up 3 hours before her in the morning.
Even though I was sweaty last night, I got a full night's sleep.
As you can see, today was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day for honesty. I may have gotten carried away with exaggerations.
